Thursday, July 08, 2010

Let Me Be Transparent!

I have a friend, I'll call her Deatrice (that is actually her name) who loves to use the phrase, "Let me be transparent." As in "Let me tell my truth even if it hurts." So I thought I would take a few sips from the transparency cup and share.

I had my 20 year high school reunion last week. Yes, 20 years, can you believe it?!?! I was nervous about attending, I'll admit, I felt that I didn't have everything in place that I thought I should have done from 20 years ago when I last saw some of these people. In high school I was involved in lots of activities; cheerleader, student council, sports, thespians, honor graduate and I felt that I hadn't lived up the expectations that others had of me or that I had of myself for that matter.

So I hemmed and hawed and vacillated about whether I would go and was talking to a friend about not going and he asked me what was more important, me spending time with friends that I wanted to see or missing out on a fun experience because of the pressure that I was putting on myself? Isn't it amazing what we do to ourselves? I was doing that; no one else was saying that I should have been a brain surgeon or a world renowned something or other. It didn't take anyone else to say I wasn't ____________ (fill in the blank) enough, I was doing it to myself! I was thinking that people would judge me because of what I wasn't instead of loving me for what I AM. And what I am, right now, at this moment, is enough.

So I decided to attend the reunion and of course had an amazing time! Everyone was so genuine, which I do miss here in Dallas, I don't run into that too often but it was so fun to hang out, reminisce and reconnect with my Belton High School class of '90 Tigers.

So when you have those moments of not feeling ___________________ enough, here are a few quotes to get you through and keep you going on the journey to being your authentic self:

"Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second rate version of someone else." -Judy Garland

"The tragedy is that so many people look for self-confidence and self-respect everywhere except within themselves, and so they fail in their search." -Dr. Nathaniel Branden

"It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not."  -Author Unknown

....And now to the style part of our program. I didn't have any additional funds to buy a killer dress for the reunion so I had to make do with what was in my closet. I've had this seafoam green dress since last year but never wore it because I thought it made my boobs look big (i.e. ginormous, not in a good way.) But I figured it would have to work. I paired it with my fave yellow/orange flowers and my pewter Steve Madden Luxe platforms.

In The Fashionista's Closet:
At the end of the night, I pulled my hair into a puff because of the humidity. This was after the reunion at a local club and I had to crop out all the incriminating stuff!
Dress: Lapis via Ross for $12(!) I remember thinking that this dress was sorta Anthropologie-ish and the price was ridick, so I bought it with nowhere special in mind to wear it last year.
Flowers (worn in hair): Michael's $1 each. I debated about wearing the flowers pinned onto the dress but I knew that there would be major pictures from the neck up so in the hair they went!
Shoes: Steve Madden Luxe

I hope that this post helps someone feel a little bit better today.....

8 comments:

GFS said...

I approve this message and this look from head to toe!

Tina said...

Love the dress! I wouldn't have thought to pair it with the bright yellow of the flowers - genius!

Anonymous said...

I am so glad you did the post. I opted out of going to my 20th reunion last year. I can't say that I regret it, but I do feel that many of the feelings you felt were going through my mind. I had friends, but was super quiet back then and I definitely wasn't the most outgoing person. I just didn't think I'd have anyone to talk to, anything to really talk about, etc. Since then several of my classmates have passed. I just attended a wake this evening and have really been thinking about hw you miss one event and never get the opportunity to see people again! I plan to attend the next event be it 25, 30 or whatver time span comes next. We are our own worst critic at times. I think there is always someone looking up to us and we don't even know it:) I am with GFS the dress is fabulous and I love the flowers,one dollar at Michael's?!??!!! Wow! Keep writing and posting your wonderful pics. I may need to make a trip to TX so I can get some consulting done:) Need to update (throw away and start over) on the wardrobe. Can you do phone consults/personal shopping from afar, lmbo:)

Tonia Lee Smith said...

I'm glad that you went. I have done that in the past, worry what people will think, what they will say, all of that. I'm glad that you had a great time.

Ashley. said...

Your always so inspirational. I love it.Your a beautiful, intelligent woman and should never worry about what people think. : )

Redesign Diva said...

This is my first read here and I am keeping you. I loved the quotes, I needed them, You are like sunshine in yo $12 dress...I love it!

Juanette said...

Thank you to everyone for the kind comments and encouragement, I am glad that someone is getting good use out of this blog other than just me, lol! It's a hard thing sometimes to put it all out there, that hasn't always been an easy thing for me, but I am shedding those layers and becoming my most authentic self....

InnyVinny said...

20 yeass?!?! Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat!?

But seriously, I find that we are our own worst critics and that we put the most pressure on ourselves. It's good to get perspective and to give yourself a break.

You look gorgeous.

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